Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What Humble Did~ Episode 1

Summer is happening, yep indeed.
 I have been doing this crazy thing called "sleeping in till 8" and it feels so awesome yet gives me energy that I don't even know what the hell to do with.

Which is great (not really) because yesterday was the longest day ever and we are only 2 days in to Summer, which means, I will probably be checking the time 568 more times in the next 3 days until the kids go to their dads for the weekend and I have 48 hours to feel rushed. Why are weekends faster than Tuesday and Wednesday? Or Monday and Tuesday? Who the fuck knows, but it happens.

Anywaaaaays, yesterday was my cousins birthday, which inevitably meant BBQ in the afternoon which was preceded by swimming all day long.

I arrived on the scene at about 1, and by 2:30 I was bored to death and grabbed a beer.
I mean there's only so much of "lets pretend we are drowning and you be the person that saves me and my name is Maria" that I can take without yelling "knock that shit off, I can't tell if you are really drowning if you play that stupid game" which I still said at least 3 times with my beer in hand.

After the beer was over I decided it was not a good call to be supervising children playing the Drowning Game while drinking a second beer. Instead I perused Cosmo and decided officially, that it is for girls who don't know how to give a hand job, and/or care far too much about their looks and what guys think of their outfits.
"Hey bro, check out that boho chick...those pants are so 2012 and she is a loser" said NO GUY EVAR.

But I digress. The most interesting part of the first slowest day of 48 more to come, was that Sprite had to go to the hospital because we thought she broke her butt. Despite her unhuman like athletic ability she fell whoopsy daisy style straight on her tail bone while riding a scooter.

Thankfully, no butts were actually broken and I got to watch a whole episode of Master Chef while we waited. Who the fuck puts cranberries in their risotto? The person who got kicked off, that's who. Good grief.

The moral of this story is that it is 10:30 a.m. I have accomplished another 8 hours of sleep and I have already cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen.

Is it beer time yet?


  1. Sounds like you had a crazy but productive and fairly hectic relaxing day. Glad to hear no tailbone was broke that would have wrecked things for sure

    As far as the weekend going by hella fast yeah it seems to go by really fucking fast for sure I agree considering my girl usually comes out on the weekends and goes home at the end of it all. We live five hrs away so sorta long distance lol But than again you probably know this shit since were friends

  2. Isn't it always beer time? Last time I checked, this was America, dammit.

  3. Although I say that both hubs and I have to work for financial reasons, which is totally the truth, I still would probably work even if I didn't have to because I simply don't know what I'd do at home with my kid for an entire summer. I mean, cripes, trips to the pool get old fast.

    And Cosmo sucks.

    But damn, I am envious of sleeping in every morning.

  4. Mine are always playing the drowing game and I am always jumping in all crazy and hurting my gams in the process. Which just means, I should read more humble since you have more experience at faux drowning...and kids.