I knew she was a month away from her 16th birthday and that she left behind grief stricken parents. I watched the video she posted on Youtube (Amanda Todd's Video)
a month before she took her own life. I saw a young girl. Obviously feeling vulnerable, hiding behind words, that are often misspelled, and I learned of her story.
In the aftermath of Amanda Todd's recent suicide, pages that pay tribute to the young girl, in hopes of spreading awareness of cyber bullying, mental illness, and to give hope to young people who are experiencing the same things, that they are not alone have turned into a nightmare.
These are the comments I have read (these are real and I have read these not on just the memorial pages but elsewhere):
"Where were her parents?"
"Why didn't she get off the Internet?"
"Dumb bitch no one cares"
"This girl was just a bratty teenager"
"Why didn't her parents just homeschool her?"
"She is going to hell, no one cares"
"I don't feel sorry at all for people who kill themselves, why are we even paying attention to her"
"She made a few mistakes but I have been bullied too and you don't see me killing myself. Stupid fuck"
"WHERE WERE HER PARENTS?!"
"What did she think was going to happen if she was being a slut?"
It goes on and on.
I posted these insane comments word for word because I want you to be upset.
Maybe by chance you actually agree with some of the comments.
But I am going to let you in on a secret.
She is dead.
No piece of advice will help her parents.
Homeschooling is not an option for her.
She can no longer be monitored online, or medicated.
And it really, ahem, doesn't matter what you think about her situation.
Because her situation is over.
Done. Gone. Over.
Now I am going to pause for a moment. Give you something to think on.
Are you as critical of other people's choices as you are of your own?
Are you as critical of other people's parenting, as you are about yours?
Think about that for a moment.
The response that I have read from other people is basically they are trying to find someone to blame and it sure as shit is NOT going to be them.
THEIR child is not going to make mistakes.
THEIR child would never be a victim of exploitation, stalking, child pornography, molestation, bullying, mental illness, low self esteem, and if they were THEY would know exactly what to do to resolve the situation. I mean fuck, protecting our kids from predators online and off is super easy! That's why nothing bad happens ever to anyone's kids, I mean it does, but like, every once in awhile, and it is the parents fault for not being more vigilant and not knowing exactly who, what, and where their kids are and what they are doing 100 percent of the day.
Besides kids are kids and you were bullied and you turned out just fine! You did, didn't you?
I want you to think about these things. Take a good hard look at yourself, unless you are perfect in which case, jog the fuck on because we no longer have anything in common, and don't think what you would do in someones shoes. Don't think how you would resolve other people's problems. Because it really doesn't matter. It is not you. Those other people's problems? Not yours. Amanda Todd? Not your daughter.
But those could be your problems.
Amanda Todd could be your child.
Any. Day.
We should be angry about the response to Amanda Todd's death as much as be horrified for the reasons for it. Because those reasons still exist. They are not going to fade away. Mental illness, bullying, child exploitation, and general lack of compassion, still exists.
Amanda is gone. You can say "who cares?" all you want. It really doesn't matter what you say about it, or what I say about it. She was not my child. And she is dead.
Her mother is out there, right now, as you are reading this, waiting for the courage to watch Amanda's video that Amanda had sent her before she took her life at 15 years old.
And it is for that reason that I started this new series. In the following weeks I will be posting every Tuesday a series on compassion, how to be more compassionate, stories of compassion and I will also post tips on how to recognize bullying, how to go about resolving it and how to recognize the signs of mental illness and how you can help yourself, your child or anyone else who is having a hard time.
Now you might be asking yourself why Humble? Why has this affected you so much?
Because my daughter is almost 12. And I have 4 other kids that will one day, be teenagers and then adults. I need the information just as much as anyone else. Because I am a parent who isn't perfect. I do not have perfect children. I do not live in a perfect world where nothing bad ever happens to kids. I am just a mom, who wants what is best for her kids. I am not about to accept Amanda Todd as a lost cause, a missed opportunity, a failed attempt at life. Because in all honesty, the cause for compassion is still there, even if she is gone.
