Blogger Audition STRAIGHT GANGSTA

Remember that Blogger Idol post? Of course you do, I only bothered you with it for the past 24 hours.
I showed this to my daughter and she was dying laughing. And really I value her opinion more than anyone else, EVEN when there are prizes involved.
So here it is...



A Humble Rap



My name is Humble, I got 5 kids and I got a blog
Not gonna lie I might be the underdog...
If you choose me to be in the Top 13
I can promise you I won't run out of steam



Now you may think you have stepped into a new verse of Gangsta's Paradise
 but I am just here to give you a small slice
If you want a chance to read more of my funny
 I want you to know I cant be held responsible for you spitting out your tea
This is just an introduction to my flow and my style
I invite you to reflect on my rhymes and ask me to stay awhile 


I don't mean to brag I don't mean to boast
But my followers are the best from coast to coast
They come from all backgrounds, all walks, all ages,
I've only had to ban a few a holes and clear the air with hippy sages


I write about my wins
Sometimes I even write about my wrongs
And sometimes when I get nervous for something I bust out in a lame rap songs!
I give my 2 cents of advice away in a feature on my blog called
Ask Humble Anything Day
I talk about my man, and I talk about my mom
If you ask me who shot first
I'll tell you it was Han...


I may not know everything that it takes to be a great writer
But connecting with people, lettin them know they aren't alone, is what I'm after

You see
I am bi polar and also have OCD
but don't worry about that
because I am mostly happy and free

When I feel real low
or even feel like shit
I tell myself I just can't quit
My family relies on me
Yes, 5 kids, it's true
And if you tell me I have my hands full I am going have to punch you

I look forward every day to bringing a slice of myself to my fans
Because sometimes I am feeling overwhelmed and nothing comes of my plans



And I have to tell myself that it is alright and 
 it's okay
I have learned that a trip to Ikea and goals in life are the same
 both cannot be conquered in one day


I have been amazed at all the people I have met, and have learned that sharing
smiles are fun, like hugs and boobs.
Nothing rhymes with boobs but that's not stoppin my flow
I am a writing rockstar,  and that is something you should know
I am honest and real, and all kidding aside
I am grateful for everything, that is something I can't hide
 
My mission for today
 is to
send this audition
 
 And I hope that you will accept my submission
In the Blogger Idol
I could really breakthrough
and maybe in the end
I will make a Humbler out of you.


BOOM.
(lights fade to black)
(hopefully applause and gun shots)