But now that Thanksgiving has passed us, we have to accept that the holidays are indeed here. No matter what you celebrate, chances are you are celebrating something that requires gifts. Even if you are a smart ass atheist who doesn't necessarily celebrate anything at all...chances are you will have to buy SOMETHING for someone like your mom or godparent, because you have been invited to all the parties you don't want to go to, but have to, because if there is one thing we can all agree on no matter what we believe in or celebrate (or don't) it's that going to these shindigs keeps the family knowing that you made it through the year and you don't want any unexpected visitors come February. Or a rumor that you have turned into a vampire and may or may have not be seen under a bridge sacrificing pigeons. Families can jump to conclusions if they have not seen you for a year, let me tell ya. So we all have to go to these things.....and we must all bring at least one gift. So I have come up with this awesome gift guide of things that you didn't know you wanted. What you thought I was going to list things for you to give other people? Pfffffft. No. This is for people who are buying for YOU. Because you are going to their damn party and/or you have put up with their shit for another year, and they owe you. If you needed an idea of what to give someone else, just get a clock radio or a scarf and take the tags off. Everyone will think you are way crafty....LIKE JESUS, and you can't lose with that type of thoughtfulness. And now for my my gift giving guide which I call.....
Awesome Gift Giving Guide of Things You Didn't Know You Wanted
What a Difference a Day Makes Custom Print 18.00
Now the idea is to have important dates in your life listed and framed, with captions of what the date is. This example includes a couple's bdays, wedding date and kid's bday. The bottom print reads "What a difference a day makes!"
Cute, indeed. If you are into that type of thing.
Dates I suggest documenting instead:
The day you lost your virginity
The day you quit your lame ass job
Your cat's birthday
The day you finally broke up with your lame ass bf/gf
The day you came out as a drag queen
See where I am going? The options are truly endless.
Because seriously, you need this in your life.
Harry Potter Snuggie 29.29
Amazon lists this as a "Micro Rashel Comfy Throw Blanket with Sleeves" but that doesn't fool me, this is a Harry Potter Snuggie!
I have a feeling the Snuggie folks were like "eh, HP Snuggie....that won't sell" And the HP folks were like, "DAMN THE MAN!" and made their own. So not only could you be wearing this magical piece of fashion, keeping toasty warm and be completely ready for a surprise re enactment of any scene in the Potter movies, but you are also stickin it to the man. I think. In any case, you can scare the shit out of your spouse, kids, dog, mailman, and shout "EXPECTO PETRONUM!" whenever you damn well please, because wearing this bad boy is like wearing a sign that says "Potter, bitches!" and that's warning enough.
Okay, 64.00 might sound like a lot of cash for a pillow, but we know you have worked your ass off not only making sure to stay sober enough to use your camera on girls night, but also sober enough to crop and filter a photo and link all your just as drunk as you, friends. It's no easy task, and I'd say you are worth the ka ching.
This is also great for you if you want to look like you have somewhat of a social life. Putting this on your couch says "Look at me, I have friends and I am a professional photographer who likes artsy things" And really, isn't that everyone's goal in life?
Tattoo a Banana 14.99
A really super cool book that sparks creativity and like the title says "ways to turn anything and everything into art"
I think this is your new go to book for parties and avoiding housework.
Psst... want to be gifted this by ME!? Click HERE and find out how!!!
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Love, Humble xoxo