What Humble Did: Scary Van and a GIFT AWAY

If you have never read my blog before, WELCOME! I have a few regular features on my blog and What Humble Did is what I did/have been doing/can't fit into one status. Given that I am a ramble machine constantly filling up people's feeds with a bunch of random shit, I figure hey why not do it on my blog too!?


I had a dream last night about my van. The automobile freaks me out so much during the day, what with it's constant lights, and DING DING DING's, and sudden smoke effect that makes me think Gotham City lives in the engine, that my constant fears have crossed over to my subconscious, where I am usually running with kittens in a field to the tune of Aquarius looking for my husbands Jeff Goldblum and Mark Ruffalo while also wearing a bikini and having super powers like flying. My dreams are so awesome you guys. But not last night, no, Brother Husbands were not there, and not even ONE kitten in sight. Instead I was driving in my mind fucking van trying to get to the gas station before the whole thing blew up. I was driving the Crank of vans. So I was looking for a gas station and right before I reach one, the whole van starts spinning in circles and eventually flips over crushing me. I managed to get out and flip the van back over (I have super powers in every dream) and it is like a van pancake. The whole thing was ridiculous so I made myself wake up.

So this morning I am driving my van, and because of my dream I put gas in it, washed the windshield (which I have never done in my life) and I even sweated the whole way taking my kids to school thinking something bad was going to happen. I fucking love anxiety created from my imagination. Seriously. Nothing is better than fearing the completely irrational thought of my van flipping over and being squashed because I ran out of gas. Makes so much sense. Thanks brain. No seriously, go f yourself. Making me wash my window and shit.

GIFT AWAY
That's right you probably skipped right on over my scary van dream to get right here to the good stuff.
So here is the deal.
My brother Danie needs his teeth fixed. Badly. You can read my first (very brief) post about it HERE
There is a fund set up to help him cover the cost of the dental work he very badly needs, and thanks to some of you, and other very generous people, over 1,000.00 has been raised.
So what is it about this gift away? Well, if you go to Danie's fund page and donate ANY amount of money and write on the wall that you were sent by me, I will put your name into a drawing for a super special thank you gift from me! And if you know anything about me, you know that I am going to be giving you something that I want for myself. Yep. I am that kind of giver. So it's going to be awesome, because I only like awesome things. And if it's not, you can re gift it to some weirdo on your holiday shopping list that is hard to buy for. Also, I am not giving away just ONE thing. For every 100.00 donated I will be pulling a name. Boom.Directions again:
Go to Danie's Fund Page HERE

Donate ANY amount (1.00, 2.00, 5.00 etc)

Write on the Fund Page's Wall that I sent you
Ex. Your sister sent me.
Humble sent me.

And if you can't help at this time, you can share this post, or you can bookmark it and donate whenever you like.

If you already donated, give me a shout out and I will put your name in the drawing!

One of these books could be yours and if you hate it, well then I just gifted someone you were dreading buying a gift for.
You're Welcome.

Next Gift That I will Give:Tattoo a Banana
as seen in:
Humble's Gift Giving Guide

Who the fuck doesn't love robots!?
I mean REALLY.
This gift has been gifted!!

 Remember every 100.00 I will be giving a gift away so this is just the beginning. I saw a bunch of other cool stuff at Barnes and Noble that I think you need.